Hola, Pato!: Lighting a candle in the darkness

Hola, Pato!

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Lighting a candle in the darkness

I was surprised to receive a call from Dad this morning at the office. I was not surprised when he told me that he would be coming home, after having been away to attend to the family business for only a week.

I was relieved and saddened by his announcement. Relieved, because Mommy would have company while her children went to school or to work. But sad because he has to come back. We all had thought that Mommy was well enough for Daddy to go back to the old country and attend to things back there. And then we all suffer this setback.

What saddened me more was that my father broke down as he told me to make sure that we all take care of Mommy. My Dad. Crying! The man I feared as I was growing up, shedding tears. I had to fight to keep my voice steady and the tears from falling. After all, it won't do for both of us to be crying. I assured him that we (my brothers, sisters, and I) were taking care of Mommy. I told him to take care of himself, and that we would see him when he came back.

A bit of good news. Mommy's condition has improved somewhat. She has a few pain-free hours in which she is able to sleep (She wasn't able to sleep at all on Tuesday, and most of yesterday). When we spoke on the phone, her sentences weren't punctuated with painful gasps or moans. She said that her medications were finally taking effect. We're keeping our fingers crossed that she will rebound sooner rather than later. We're finding it easier to be optimistic.

It has been so easy to slide into utter depression and hopelessness these past few days. I found myself crying at work today, just because a sudden sadness descended on me.

And yet...

While my mother has temporarily banished me from her home, we are doing fine. My brothers and sister juggled their schedules to make sure that Mommy was never alone. They made sure she ate, even when she didn't feel like it. They kept track of her medication. They kept me posted.

I just realized that, more than just helping Mommy, we were helping each other. We were propping each other with the phone calls we were exchanging. We encouraged each other. We assured each other that we were taking care of our mother. We told each other that things were going to be all right.

In the past three days, we exchanged ideas on how to make Mommy's road to recovery more comfortable. I sent missives and reminders through e-mails. One of my brothers bought a bed pan. My sister bullies my Mom into changing her clothes. We laugh at the smallest things.

Wow. When did we grow up?

In this opressive, overwhelming darkness, we are stubbornly lighting our candles.

Can daylight be far behind?

posted by M @ 10:36 PM

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